📌 Wisdom Teacher
Udumbara Gesu is a mystic woman. Thanks to her parents, she grew up in the presence of God-intoxicated Masters & elusive mystics of India.
She is the Founder of the Navel Consciousnes™, the primal healing wisdom that awakens your whole intuitive circuit Navel-Heart-Mind.
This primordial mother's healing & living wisdom predates the ancient Vedic, Egyptian and Mayan civilisations.
📌 Inner Clarity Maestro
UG founded The New Clear Woman™ School of Absolute Inner Clarity.
UG has qualified in human consciousness, psychotherapy and counselling to add the practical dimension to her spiritual training.
At The New Clear Woman™ School of Absolute Inner Clarity. You are systematically initiated into this primordial healing and living wisdom.
Since 1998 UG has been helping conscious women & men worldwide go beyond redundant social pressures and become naturally ecstatic, self-trusting, courageous and fully clear. Is it your turn now?
🎤 TEDx speaker 👁🗨 YouTuber 🅱️ Blogger
UG is a transformational speaker & writer. She practices the ancient 'sacred transmission' system. Every speaking & writing engagement is an awakening call, an education in Inner Clarity.
UG's style and connection with the audience is admired worldwide, especially for her fierce honesty on human psyche.
This is her contribution to personal and as well world peace.
You can request her for an interview, speaking engagement or video by email.
Walk through the corridors of my memories. You will know if we are meant to be - UG
I had a paranormal childhood
I hated school to the point of being sick.
I was not only bullied at school. I also found my teachers robotic, heartless and boring.
On the other hand the home was full of philosophical and existential discussions. What is god, what does surrender mean and inquiry. I was a part of all of them.
At school I mostly felt paralysed not because I was bullied on the play ground and bored in the classrooms but because I use to see two worlds simultaneously.
One world was what people behaved like. The other was what people actually felt. Most of the times it was contradictory to each other. When someone smiled they were actually battling sadness inside. When someone bullied they were battling rejection inside. When someone stood out they were battling fear inside. Seeing two worlds at the same time paralysed me because I didn't know which one I should focus on while engaging with people. Should I feel afraid of the boy who was bullying me or should I reach out to him because he was acting out of loneliness?
Even when I dared to reach out in response to the actual feeling of the person, I was rejected, mocked and usually asked to shut up. It took me decades to realise that not all people can see this dual state of a single person.
I was sorely uncomfortable by this two-faced existence of most people. I didn't want to be unconsciousness about my own being. That's why I learnt to handle it my way.
Since age 9 personal catharsis became my daily practice. Initially as a survival tactic. Later on as a tool for personal growth.
Every day, in every instance and every relationship, my priority is to break down why I feel what I feel and how I act it out. And then bring consciousness to both my emotions and actions in life.
This relentless self work has been the foundation of my life ever since.
Being authentic may be a boon to my spiritual existence but in this world it has also been the reason for my struggles and pain.
I grew up in the presence of God intoxicated Masters
My parents are mystics. But as they have two children they also have a domestic life to maintain.They had to learn to handle this dichotomy.
They would often escape from the mundanity of routine life to the sanctuaries of the most elusive mystics of India.
These mystics were not well behaved teachers. They were drunk on God. Untameable by the society. Revered for their spiritual prowess.
They were whimsical to the flatterers but benevolent to the genuine seekers.
In their presence I witnessed how timeless sanctity meets the grace of spiritual seeking.
This exposure shaped my own self seeking path. I got anchored in timelessness rather than be seduced by the latest spiritual fashion.
At 14 I almost died and went to heaven
I was lying on my couch, curled up as if gut-kicked. Unable to pull in a breath. I was gasping at the peak of yet another Asthmatic attack. My mother was patient and desperate, all at the same time. She was helping me get off my feet to be rushed to my doctor as none of my regular medicines were working.
When we couldn't get me off my feet, she paused for a moment and as if directed by a voice from the beyond she said 'Gesu why don't you try getting out of this disease on your own right now, just try'.
With no strength for outside, I turned inside, as always it was easier.
The moment I closed my eyes I was transported to an inner landscape of timeless calm. In this inexplicable stillness I experienced a state of nuclear clarity I cannot fully define, even today.
I was beyond the confines of my physical body. Expanded eternally in all directions. I experienced an ecstasy in my being that felt like home.
My disease unpacked its reasons in front of me like someone unpacks a fully loaded lunch box.
My clarity was so penetrating that I dismantled my disease like a pack of cards.
It felt like hours had passed but when I came about it was only a few minutes.
I was healed permanently from Asthma, timidity and self doubt.
An education from the beyond began for me.
Soon after my inner clarity explosion, I began being educated.
I was drawn to books and masters that introduced me to the layers of consciousness.
The right books kept showing up! Some were even sent from the US by a friend of my father.
I think I began with the book Tibetan book of living & dying and then went on to Tying Rocks to the clouds, The Alchemist and Dr. Karl Pribram's Holographic Brain and so on.
During this phase I was re-remembering myself anew. As if the ancient me was reminding this teenager me who I was eternally. But the teenager me wasn't easy to appease. She needed validation all the time. She was always wondering if she was imagining this stuff.
The universe kept validating. From this time on validation just appeared in terms of books, films, and direct messages that people spoke without knowing it's value for me.
In the non internet times the ease with which books and experiences kept me busy was unusual. The work of the masters like Sogyal Rinpoche, Carl Jung, J Krishnamurti, Gurdjieff, Ram Dass, Peale, Osho, Nisargdatta, Herman Hesse, Einstein, Yogananda, Gandhi, Rumi, Maxwell and Amit Goswami to list the least reached me one after the other.
Together they blew away any rigidity of linearity before it could take roots in me.
At 16, I got drunk on natural ecstasy
Smack in the middle of my teenage troubles. I got god intoxicated.
I was flying without wings. Ecstatic without reason. Grateful without success.
Universal benevolence had drenched me.
I was naturally blissed out for 2 weeks before this euphoria began to percolate into my cognitive experience and stayed with me for years to come.
This is when I tasted ecstatic living and never went back to anything less.
It doesn't mean I haven't suffered in life. It simply means that ecstatic living is my benchmark of it.
At 18 I was initiated into Energy Healing
While regular teenage worries about boyfriend trouble and career choices kept me busy. I was also initiated into Reiki by my mother, Mother Rabiya, who by then had become a celebrated Master Healer.
Learning Reiki had saved her life. That's why she wanted her family to be enveloped by this blessing.
People from across the world came to learn from her. (They still do!) Her classes use to take place in our home-cum-healing centre.
Parallel to my college education, which was monotonous, I was exposed to an eclectic array of mentalities, skin colours and races from the world over.
Energy Healing took me deeper into human consciousness.
Aura, Chakras, Cellular health, Sound healing, Sacred geometry, Astronomy, Egyptian, Indian, Celtic and Mayan mysteries, karmic algorithms, Epigenetics, Pre-Christian feminine consciousness, Quantum mechanics and the works kept me busy.
This early exposure to the vivacious diversity of this world made inclusivity a non negotiable core value in my life.
At 19 I was asked to teach Self-healing.
Alfredo (name changed) travelled from Spain to be initiated by Maa specifically. But Maa was out of town. When he found out he refused to budge without an initiation. I called Maa. When she spoke to him she understood his genuine intention.
This is what she said to me.
"Do the class. you are ready. Trust me. It's me doing the class through you".
I flung my hesitation aside and plunged into the experience. Trusting my teacher and myself gave me a unique insight. I realised I was a good teacher of human consciousness. I could read a person easily. And that I could translate complex spiritual phenomenon into clear and easy to grasp concepts.
I thought I would help my mother once in a while. Little did I know that I was being prepared for my own destiny.
This experience was a mile stone in learning to trust myself.
By 20 I was pretending hard that I was normal
From 16 until 25 I was telling myself I could fit in and yet be different somehow. I had graduated in English literature and psychology and post graduated in mass communication by now. All I wanted was an abnormally normal career in media.
My ask was abnormal because although I was thrilled with the art and creativity in the media industry, something else made me totally miserable. I couldn't shut off my perception, which caused me a lot of pain and discomfort.
Whether it was insecurity for the future, competition or pain people were under a strange spell to lie to themselves. Trading convenience for truth.
I could see through people's pain and their gaping emptiness. I could see through their exhaustion and suffocation while they pretended to be exhilarated by life. It didn't add up. It just didn't add up.
Between 20 to 26 I had tried everything. From trying my best to live in Mumbai, be in media, starting up a charity to bring mental health to the underprivileged and some businesses here and there that actually put me off. I had failed because I couldn't fit in. Neither could I bring myself to compromise. Until now I had not found my heart tribe.
As I couldn't lie to myself, around 25, I quit being normal.
Without a care for where the money for my survival would come from, I quit everything that made me compromise truth.
Around the same time my sweetheart and I decided to get married, which was another adventure into being the misfit. We wanted a simple low cost marriage at our new home. But that defied the culture of lavish show off weddings India is still a slave to. Our relatives thought we were mad and our parents thought we were the new breed of hippies who don't understand the gravity of social exchange.
Swimming against the current felt fearless to me. But the 'normal' people engaging with me felt differently.
My cousins found me weird. My uncles found me alarming. My family found me over confident. My acquaintances and colleagues found me too much. And most of all the patriarchal fabric of the society found me off putting. They still do!
To everyone normal, I was impressive but unsuitable because I lacked the ability to pretend anything other than the true state of affairs. On top of that I was pretty vocal about it.
This was a difficult period in my life. I had constant disagreements. I learnt that you bring a certain discomfort to the table when you don't compromise.
My learning to be totally comfortable with this discomfort had only just begun.
At 27, I was called back home
While I hungered to establish my role in this world, I had never paid any serious attention to the only thing that brought fulfilment to me, teaching self-healing.
Teaching a few classes here and there at my Mother's behest was all I did until I was invited to Germany for Dynamic Reiki.
My assistant and a friend of my heart Kerstin Düllmann invited me to Germany. She wanted to bring personal transformation she had experienced with Maa and me to the door of her friends and family.
By then I was an avid traveller, I took up this opportunity to fund my trip but as usual life had other surprising plans.
As I stepped on to the German soil, I felt a strange sense of home coming as if I knew this land too well. Flashes from my previous lives in Germany filled my mind. Pain, love, struggle and friendship all of it unleashed like a giant tsunami. It gave me a perceptive on how human life is a complex phenomenon of interconnectedness.
The practical experience of this interconnectedness was so enormous that its weight almost broke my back, literally.
I spent two months there and came back with a back problem that eventually resulted in a back injury a few years later.
But this was also the first time when I found some members of my heart tribe, who are still with me. We went through our own roller coaster rides across life times and have eventually settled into a benevolent symbiosis.
Tanya Stewner is one of the pillars of my heart tribe. A soul sister and a benevolent friend.
After the first few courses, I knew I had arrived home.
Motherhood destroyed my known world
3 fateful events completely turned my world upside down, inside out.
The first was when I received The Navel Awakening Initiation from Mother Rabiya. She is the founder of this profound ancient initiation.
The initiation flooded my being with the memory of who I am eternally and for what exact purpose have I come to this lifetime. I began to perceive complex, unprecedented knowledge on human navel.
Soon this wisdom began to awaken in me. Not just as a knowing in my spiritual gut but also as information in my brain. It kept pouring in, until I had received Navel Consciousness™.
I am forever grateful to my master and my mother for this invaluable gift.
The second event was when our son Kabir was born. His birth started a domino effect of imploding all convenient arrangements in my life. His powerful presence tore open all pretences. He brought cut throat clarity in my life.
The third happened around 38. When my father had a stroke, my marriage dismantled and I met my match in love. But more on that when the time is right for it.
I found my Ikigai. I love what I do. It serves what the world needs, absolute clarity. I get paid honourably for it. And I am excellent at it.
This is not an accident or privilege. It's the result of a journey of cut-throat honesty with myself. To live this honesty, I burn up my own illusions and comfort zones first.
I constantly overthrow labels and dogmas that imprison me.
To me courage is to light the fire of truth with my own hands. Even when my hands are trembling.
So you will often find my path lit by the fire that burns my own conditioning.